Partnerska
intima
Vsak človek stremi po odnosu, ker v
njem najde svojo izpolnitev in skozi njega se lahko razvija naprej.
Želja po odnosu je tako ena glavnih ter najbolj naravnih človeških
potreb, skozi katero se oseba razvija in izraža čustva. Posebno
vlogo ima partnerski odnos, ki je izredno pomemben za vsakega
posameznika. Partnerski odnos je edini izključujoči odnos, ki
usmeri ljubezen samo proti eni osebi in ne proti večim, kot npr.
starševstvo. V njem oseba najde oporo in pomoč za celovito
življenjsko rast. Takšen odnos, če je varen in zdrav razvija vse
tri stopnje intimnosti, to so organska, čustvena in kognitivna. Te
tri stopnje si sledijo v tem vrstnem redu in s pomočjo njih
osvobajamo naša potlačena čustva ter rešujemo naše težave. Organska intimnost je na telesni ravni, kjer zaznamo zaljubljenost in spremembo telesnega stanja ob drugi osebi. Na tej ravni iščemo bližino drugega s pomočjo telesa in se vse odvija le na telesni ravni. Za to raven so značilne fizične spremembe v našem telesu povzročene s strani hormonov, ki se sprožijo ob dotikih/bližini. Naslednja stopnja intimnosti je čustvena intimnost, kjer se oblikujejo zaupanje in sočutje med partnerjema. Razvoj odnosa omogoča poglobitev intimnosti na čustveno raven in s tem ojačanje povezave med partnerjema. Na tej ravni se razvijajo občutki med partnerjema, ki omogočajo boljši prenos oz. preslikanje občutkov med partnerjema. Tretja stopnja intimnosti je kognitivna intimnost, kjer se razvije najglobji pogovor med partnerjema o njihovih najtežjih občutkih. Na tej stopnji se partnerja medsebojno razumeta in na osebni ravni lahko predvidevata kaj vsak od vsakega hoče in pričakuje. Dobimo vpogled v "njegovo/njeno" perspektivo.
Tako vidimo, da obstajajo 3 stopnje
intimnosti kjer je telesnost šele začetna raven. Partnerja, ki ne
poglobita intimnosti, do zadnje ravni bosta težje reševala konfikte
in se manj razumela, kot partnerja, ki sta dosegla vse ravni.
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english version ///////////////////////////////////////
Relationship
intimacy
Every person strives for a
relationship, because in it he finds his fulfillment and through it a
person can develop him/herself. The desire for relationship is thus
one of the main and most natural human needs through which a person
develops and expresses feelings. A special role is played by a
partnership relation, which is extremely important for every
individual. A partnership relation is the only exclusive relationship
that directs love towards one person only and not against many, such
as parenting does. In it a person finds support and help for a
comprehensive life growth. Such a relationship,can help to develop
all three levels of intimacy, these are organic, emotional and
cognitive. These three levels are followed in this order, and with
the help of them we release our suppressed emotions and solve our
problems. Organic intimacy is at the level of the body, where we fall
in love and a change in the physical condition occurs. At this level,
we seek the proximity of another through the body, and everything
takes place only on the body level. This level is characterized by
physical changes in our body caused by hormones that are triggered at
the touch / closeness. The next level of intimacy is emotional
intimacy, where confidence and compassion are formed between
partners. The development of a relationship enables the deepening of
intimacy on the emotional level and thus strengthening of the
connection between the partners. At this level, feelings are
developed between partners, which enables a better transfer of
feelings between partners. The third level of intimacy is cognitive
intimacy, where the deepest conversation between the partners is
about their most difficult feelings. At this stage, the partners
understand each other on a personal level, and they can anticipate
what each one wants and expect. We get an insight into "his /
her" perspective.
So we see that there are 3 levels of
intimacy where the body intimacy is only the initial level. Partners
who do not deepen their intimacy to the last level will have more
problems solving conficts and become less understood between each
other then partners who have reached all levels.
- Denis Ališič
